There had been a silent epidemic among spiritual people. It is more likely a virus that can spread from one group to another, and if it won’t be contained, it would spread and infect even those who are just to embark their journey of knowing themselves and fulfilling their life purpose.
It is hard to determine if you are contaminated by it or not, but it is not too late to find the cure once you have diagnosed yourself and undergone prognosis. And what is this disease? It is the insatiable thirst for power and recognition of being in the lead in the spiritual movement.
I admit that I was once like this.
I have this “itch” to be recognized as a spiritual person, an awakened being, a know-it-all when it comes to spirituality, metaphysics, and the paranormal. I even accepted some “students” in a pseudo-spiritual ashram somewhere in Rizal, which my wife had helped me build, only to close after a few weeks because of misunderstanding, some gossips, and some conspiracy theories. I will not delve into the very detail of what happened that time, but the closing of my ashram has taught me a very valuable lesson: Do not build any edifice using your ego as its foundation.
Yes, I have founded that center for me to teach, to earn from teaching, and to tell the whole world that I know spirituality well, and that I need to share it—as soon as possible—to the world. But it was a terrible mistake.
Although I keep telling myself that I did nothing wrong, however my heart and soul tell me otherwise. Yes I have this intention of guiding other people to find their “path,” but I have forgotten one important thing: I did not examine my intention enough.
My intention is not what it seems to be.
That the founding of that ashram, somewhere in Rizal, is just to boast and to feed my ego. That I have founded that thing because I am seeking attention, as my other friends in the spiritual circle are now become popular and that they have their own “followers”. They have these huge “realizations” that they share to the world through their work.
“I, too, had my share of mystical experiences, and my theoretical know-how on how the spiritual world and spirituality work are enough to teach other people on how to become spiritual,” I told myself. That is why, with much hurry, I have asked my students to build a center for me notwithstanding the fact that I, myself is not yet ready, for the responsibility of taking care of a center. I have also failed to realize that students are not ready for that, too.
That’s why, when the “devil” had launched its attack, everything had just collapsed. It was a painful realization of how egotistic I am, and that even though I am telling myself that I am not like those attention seekers. But I was wrong. I, too, had my times of “ego boosting” and power tripping.
And now, I have seen my mistakes and I am now sharing it with you for you to avoid committing that same mistakes that I have committed.
Most of the people I have encountered, or talked to, about spirituality, they often equate it to power, or the development of certain psychic abilities: clairvoyance, claircognizance, clairaudience, etc.
That is why, some people in the anting-anting circle call their practice, spiritual.
I have nothing against obtaining power or developing psychic abilities or talking to angels, or even to extraterrestrials. But if this your very reason of engaging to spiritual practice, I think, it is a terrible mistake.
Correct me if I am wrong, but ancient mystics never wanted power or visions. All they want is to become one with the Divine.
“Perform all thy actions with mind concentrated on the Divine, renouncing attachment and looking upon success and failure with an equal eye. Spirituality implies equanimity.” – The Bhavagad Gita
Some are even always in a hurry to get “advance” spiritually, that they have forget the importance of learning the basics, first. Just like the old Tagalog sayings tell us,
“Ang tumatakbo nang matulin, kung matinik ay malalim. Ang naglalakad nang marahan, kung matinik ay mababaw.”
“Ang bungang hinog sa sanga matamis ang lasa. Ang bungang hinog sa pilit kung kainin ay mapait.”
I am admitting, and I am not ashamed of it, that from time-to-time, I can still feel the “symptoms,” but I am trying hard to find the proper cure for it.
It may take time, but I am not losing hope.
For I know that there’s a stronger, a much higher power that has the capability to get me out from this pit, this quagmire, called “too much seeking of spiritual power.”
Just like what St. Paul has to say,
Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12: 9 – 10, Holman Christian Standard Bible)
“Knock, And He’ll open the door
Vanish, And He’ll make you shine like the sun
Fall, And He’ll raise you to the heavens
Become nothing, And He’ll turn you into everything.” ― Rumi
I know that I am not entitled, neither I am an authority, to tell you this, my dear readers. But soul is urging me to do so:
Never seek power, but seek yourself.
Do not seek to control or overpower other people. Rather, learn how to control yourself.
Seek not only knowledge. Seek Wisdom.
Do not lord over others. Be their servant, instead.
Seek love, and love unceasingly.